you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
