I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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