I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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