I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
