ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
