The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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