Michael Bay diarrhea
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize