what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
