I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
