Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
