Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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