If i come over, it means nothing
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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