We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
