I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
