god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize