Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
