Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
