I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
