Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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