My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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