My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
