the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
