i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
