so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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