but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
