Little spoons don't ask big questions
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
