If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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