pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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