Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
