you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
