haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You pole danced in your parka.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
