I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
operation harelip BJ is a go
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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