I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
