Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
