Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
