Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
