On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
