Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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