I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize