***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize