At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
