I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
