Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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