I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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