I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize