the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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