At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
