is your mom at the bar?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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