And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
