She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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