I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
