I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
