I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
i out mim tonsoeep
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
