You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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