im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
