He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
