his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
