So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
