Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My penis needs a shock collar
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
