But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Panties = found
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